Udite O Rustici and the sons of Dr. Dulcamara

Donizetti's The Elixir of Love is the tenor's show; the success of any production rests on the shoulders of Nemorino and his ability to charm us, to show some comedy chops, to move well in his "tipsy" scene and, in the end, to make us melt into grease spots with his rendition of "Una furtive lagrima".

MGM's fast-talking Wizard in action

But if Nemorino doesn't watch his P's and Q's, Dr. Dulcamara is totally capable of stealing the show. It's a fabulous part. "Udiste, O rustici" is SO GREAT. Donizetti was not a genius, but "Dr. Bittersweet's" monologue is an inspired tour de force of fast-talking hucksterism for a charismatic buffo. (Here it is with Sesto Bruscantini.)

Some eight minutes in length, "Udite" could be called the first infomercial in advertising history. The remarkable thing about the number is that a modern-day audience quickly recognizes that, in the field of marketing, advertising and sales techniques, nothing has changed in nearly three centuries.

Consider: like those commercials that "make it personal" ("Men: are you experiencing Low T? Would you like more energy and more bounce in the bedroom?"), Dulcamara zeroes in on his customer's individual problems: "You stiff matrons, would you like to feel young again?"

I frequently get Facebook and Instagram ads with, um, "impressive" claims. "Doing this once a day completely wipes out neuropathic pain! Doctors are amazed!" They are simply following the lead of Dulcamara, who boasts that his elixir "is emptying out hospitals!"

In virtually all stagings, there comes a moment when the con man pulls down a bogus chart depicting human anatomy, enabling the "doctor" to spew out some rapid-fire pseudo-scientific nonsense. This always reminds me of old-fashioned TV commercials for some medicine in which the announcer says "Here's proof" upon which we, the viewers, are shown an animated cartoon of stomach acid being exterminated. Yeah, right - "proof".

And Dulca-quack finishes with another trope of modern-day Madison Avenue: a jingle! This comes when his assistant breaks into a lively tune in 3/8. Here, Dulcamara is not "speaking" to the crowd (in a non-melodic patter while the orchestra plays the melodic material); he is actually singing to them, a device meant to "close the deal" and stick in their minds:

This number is so wonderful, and the character who sings it so vivid and entertaining, that Dr. Dulcamara has been re-born in stage and film. He's the gift to story-tellers that keeps on giving. Here's a summary of a few that spring to mind immediately.

PROFESSOR HAROLD HILL - The Music Man. Harold's version of "Udite" is the iconic patter song "Ya got trouble"  Hill’s “elixir” is music; specifically, the promise of a boys’ band in a sleepy midwestern town, a band that will keep the youth of River City out of trouble. Once having collected cash for instruments and uniforms, he’ll skip town.

Because Americans prefer sentiment in their stories, Prof. Hill (unlike Dulcamara) is redeemed by the love of a good woman. And, of course, the fake “elixir” of music, like that of the opera, ends up delivering what was promised. No more will the youth of River City, Iowa fall prey to the evils of the pool hall.

TOBY AND PIRELLI - Sweeney Todd. In one glorious scene entitled "The Contest", Stephen Sondheim has dazzled us with not one, but TWO! - COUNT THEM, TWO! - incarnations of Dr. Dulcamara. They, like Harold Hill, while borrowing the device of rapid-patter delivery of unlikely claims, each differ in technique and character from Donizetti's creation. And no: Pirelli is not a pricey Italian tire, he's Sweeney's rival for the barbering trade in London.

Toby, the apprentice first of Pirelli and then (following the latter's unfortunate demise) of Mrs. Lovett, is the most innocent of all the charlatans. Yes, he does an expert job of hawking "Pirelli's Miracle Elixir", but he proves to be a child-like naif, his sales pitch having been drilled into him by the evil Pirelli. It's worth noting that this elixir, unlike Dulcamara's, is NOT a panacea recommended for everything from killing bugs and mice to improving skin complexion and curing paralysis; nope, this stuff (which Todd decides is composed of "ink and piss") grows hair. That's it. Finito. Dulcamara doubtless would counsel Pirelli that he's needlessly limiting his revenue stream.

When Pirelli finally makes his dramatic appearance, the astute listener will notice a device stemming directly from "Udite O rustici": wild self-promotion to establish street cred. Whereas Dulcamara rashly says he's known throughout "the universe and... and... other places", Pirelli interrupts his rapid patter to boast, with great vocal flourish, that he has even shaved the Pope! 

Pirelli's big contrast from Dulcamara is this: whereas Donizetti's character gets away with his antics and clearly continues to rake in the scudi from gullible peasants, Pirelli's career comes to a crashing halt when Todd scores a TKO in the shaving contest. His mortal live comes to a halt shortly afterwards.

And one last "son of Dulcamara, perhaps the most like the original:

THE WIZARD - The Wizard of Oz. I never read the book (tsk), so my comments refer to the MGM musical. The Wizard has managed to con an entire populace of "peasants" on the other side of the rainbow that he is an all-powerful sorcerer. That's what he's "selling": an image, rather than a physical product in a bottle.

However, I would suggest that, for Dorothy and her friends, the Wicked Witch's broom functions as a counterpart to an elixir of love. It's "the thing that'll get you what you want". The love potion is the Thing that will bring Nemorino happiness. The broom is the Thing that will enable Dorothy to go home, in addition to giving the Lion courage, the Scarecrow a brain, and the Tin Man a heart.

In both cases, the "customer's" belief in their respective con men, and the trials they go through in following directions, are what bring about the actual results they were hoping for. Dr. Dulcamara and the Wizard stumbled upon an important truth of human nature (as well as Lion nature, etc. etc.); namely, that the mind is a powerful problem-solving force once it's engaged. Charlatans or not, both characters became the galvanizing motivation for their "victims" to change their lives for the better.