January 13, 2013

New humor genre: operatic onion jokes

The duet from "La Forza del Destonion"
So beautiful, and it didn't make the top ten!!
One of my Facebook friends posted a short YouTube video and tagged me on it.  It's a one-minute video, an animated  film that posits an explanation for the phenomenon of people tearing up and weeping at performances of opera.

Here's the link to the video; watch it now or the rest of this post won't make much sense: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkQp0jf-kJk

There! How 'bout that - the music was being sung by a bunch of onions, ho ho!

Anyone who knows me, even a little bit, and especially my immediate family, would realize there is no way on earth I could watch that film and not proceed to manufacture a bunch of lame puns connecting onions to opera.

The premise: self-respecting onions should not be caught dead - ...er, diced - singing Mascagni's Cavalleria Rusticana when there are actual onion-centric operas they might have more appropriately selected.

And what are those operas, you asked? Happy to oblige with the:

TOP 10 ONION OPERAS

10. Purcell's Dido and Onion-as

9. Mozart's Bastien and Bast-onion

8. Mozart again: Don Gio-vonion

7. Tchaikovsky's Eugene Onion-gen

6. Verdi's Simonion Boccanegra

5. Puccini's Monion Lescaut

4. Giordano's Andrea Chonion

3. More Puccini: La Ronion-dine

2. Poulenc's La Vox Humonion

...and the Number One Onion Opera:

1. Puccini's Tur-onion-dot

Next week: the Top 10 Spaghetti Squash Operas!  ....Just kidding. I'm done with vegetable operas. Even the one by Beet-hoven, haw haw haw. (I can almost hear the Twitter followers clicking "Unfollow"... Sigh...)

My book THE OPERA ZOO: SINGERS, COMPOSERS AND OTHER PRIMATES is available from Kendall Hunt Publishing. Order online or by phone from customer service: 1-800-344-9034, ext. 3020. Also available at www.amazon.com

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