November 26, 2011
The 2-minute Hansel and Gretel
The goose fell in the butter, my dog has a flea!"
That's not how that goes. There's something wrong with you.
I'm starving. It's affecting my memory. Hey, I know what! Let's have a dancing lesson! Dance with me, brother!! (She starts to sing again)
"With your foot you whap whap whap!
Chap-stik HERE, butt-cheeks THERE...."
Seriously, there's something bad wrong with you. Get away from me. (The mother enters.)
You've been cutting your anger-management classes again, haven't you?
HONEY, I'm HOME!
How was your day, dear?
MOTHER (looking in his grocery sacks)
Let's eat! Where are the kids?
I sent them to their rooms for a time-out.
Uh - this is a one-room cottage. They don't have rooms.
Right. But they were annoying me, so I sent them into the woods.
The same woods with wolves, bears and cannibalistic old witches?
HOLY GEEZ! Will everyone please get off my BACK about that!!!! #$(=*&%&#^$!!!!
Uh, that's okay, I'm good...
GRETEL (starts to sing anyway)
The little dude said "Lo - I am in a thing.
A what made of what?
Just go with it, okay? (They suddenly espy an edible house, right on cue.)
GRETEL (sniffing the front door)
Well, crap - I can't eat y'all like this; you're skin and bones. I like me some fat kid-meat.